Jane the Virgin
by ZoeyJLokiOdison
Summary: Black hair, white skin & brown eyes. This is the new Jane Foster. Waiting three years for Thor, Jane cant help but realize she isnt the old girl from the desert. Drunk and angry,Foster is kidnapped to Asgard & locked in a house in the middle of nowhere with Loki. With a shrouded future, secrets & a dark spirit threatening her sanity, life is a whirl of science & magic...maybe love
1. Preface

Preface:

And now we get Loki's list of myths in which time stands still, moves around, plays tricks…not stories but allusions, some of them clear, and others oblique or coy. Our attention wanes, as a voice- of Frigga? Odin?- falters and drones. Tired perhaps? We strain to follow the murmur and feel frustration, even annoyance.

Why has he thus betrayed us?

Is this a place he would have fixed had the gods not sent him away?

But there is a way to read this passage and turn back time. We are children again, hiding at the top of the stairs and straining to hear the phrases that float up from our parents' conversations. Greedy for what we catch, we hold our breath to listen and to comprehend their words and the world's unpleasant secrets. From which they have tried to protect us from as long as possible and as well as they could.

The question is one of trust, which Loki tests or invites.

We have learned in these pages, to yield to his moods and moves, to read them with a mixture frustration and awe. At any rate, is the subject of youth and age, the gods can turn back the clock- not often, but every now and then.

We get Loki's and Jane's story.

…

_There is nothing on Earth that is so evil that it does not provide the earth with some special quality. And there is nothing that does not turn bad, if its put to the wrong use and abused. Virtue turns to vice if it's misused. Vice sometimes become virtue through the right activity. Inside this little rind of this weak flower, there is both poison and powerful medicine. If you smell it, you will feel good all over your body. But if you taste it, you must surely die._

_There are two opposite elements in everything, in men as well as herbs- good and evil._

_- Romeo and Juliet_

Prologue

I run.

It's all I have ever done. It's all I ever could do.

I have ran for the stars, hurtled through earth, and chased after Thor.

I have endured and ran, but it was all to survive. Loki was right. I had been running with the supernatural for far too long. It was over now, as my feet slapped the ground. I was sprinting to my death and my short life would be over.

But it was more than that. I wasn't chasing now, _this_ was different. I was running _with_ someone.

My hands were clammy and shivers ran up and down my spine. Never had the beats in my chest been more significant and meaningful. Such strong heartbeats.

I had taken a bite of the forbidden fruit and gained knowledge, but fate decided that I must surely die.

I wasn't angry. I felt relief.

With my hand clasped in his, the ground disappears and we fall.

Whether to an abyss or something else, I don't know.

All I could focus on were my heartbeats.


	2. False Promises

**Song Inspiration- "Heartbeats": by Jose Gonzalez**

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 1<span>

I stared at the mirror with the waistline of my pants fisted in my hands.

I had lost weight.

I had been a size six, now I was a three.

My hipbones were very defined; my stomach was flat or almost shrunk. My arms and legs weren't bony. _Yet_.

As I looked at the creature in the mirror, I tried to make sense of what I was seeing. Her face was beautiful, elegant even, with full lips, sharp cheekbones and large brown eyes, but the light or glow was gone. The _fire_ was gone. Her skin was pale, rarely feeling the sun since the treadmill had arrived. Her hair was long, almost to the base of her spine and dyed black. Her skin around her collarbone and shoulders was almost too tight, right on the edge between bony or blissfully thin. Between her legs was the much-sought-after thigh gap. The creature still had curves, but never the beautiful womanly ones like before.

This creature was me, suffering from too many sleepless nights and too little food.

I turned away and continued to get dressed.

I followed routine and slipped a thick sweater over my head, thankful for the cool, cloudy weather. The white chunky yarn gave more shape to my body. Tonight I would be attending a little potluck at Eric's house, which meant I needed to look normal.

Looking in the mirror, I decided to put another thin layer underneath. I slipped the white sweater off, and fix a gray blouse underneath. Again, I put on the thick white sweater. Better, I wouldn't have to lie to Eric or Darcy again this time.

Sitting on the edge of my bed, I bent over and tied the laces to my brown leather boots with unfocused calm. Getting up I grabbed my keys and left my apartment. The wind was bitterly cold but I took a deep breath and enjoyed the pain of needles in my throat. I stepped into my little black Lexus and started the engine. I drove the speed limit, passing leafless trees. Snow barely dusted the streets; leaves frozen in ice.

Parking in front of a Whole Foods Market, I walked inside with a notepad and pen inside.

I settled into my regular pattern and looked for the low fat, sugar free aisles. I grabbed a carrot cake, wrote down the amount of calories and chose a bottle of suger-free apple cider in a nice wrapping. I counted the numbers easily. _2378 cal._

_With Darcy and Eric watching, maybe one glass and a slice…so two hours on the mill_, I thought.

I paid and walked back to my car, with my groceries. The sky was an inky gray, the clouds hanging low and heavy. No blue sky peeked through.

Life hadn't been the same since Thor. Depression had swamped me and I had lost all interest in astrophysics. I lost interest in my life in general. My self-confidence plummeted and I couldn't sleep for days at a time. Acute insomnia from time to time. I didn't take any medication, I just listened to music. Glancing at the tape and my phone, I pressed play and the soft strum of an acoustic guitar filled the car. I sighed and focused on the road ahead, thinking about Thor, my weight and whether or not it was worth it having my heart beating.

…

The pebble driveway crunched beneath the wheels of my car.

The trees were dark outlines against the yellowing sky. Shutting the engine off, I stepped out with the little carrot cake and apple cider in each hand.

The house in front of me was more of a cottage, depending by it's size. The bungalow was white, with blue Swedish detailing and a large porch. Along the left side of the house, it was almost completely covered by Ivy. The grass was freshly trimmed but the flower garden seemed overrun with a mixture of different flowers, varying from roses, tulips and petunias. I grinned and walked up the porch steps. With out a moments notice, Darcy had slammed the door open and engulfed me in a tight hug. I shifted away uncomfortably, hoping she wouldn't notice the extra weight loss, the cake and cider between us. Darcy brushed my nervousness aside and simply tugged me inside. Eric hugged me, grabbed my things and brought them to the table. My senses were assaulted with the tangy smell of baked chicken, creamy fettuccini Alfredo and an assortment of earthy veggies. We stood standing in the hallway, chatting a bit. The smell wafted towards us. Erik and Darcy, slowly made their way to the dining room. I swallowed the bile in my throat and walked after them. I sat down and stared at my plate. With all my will power, I began to fill up my plate, spreading the food as much as possible. Visual Illusions for myself and them.

…

My wine glass was half full and still.

Moments ago, I had watched the carbonation bubble and fizzle tantalizingly until it sputtered away. The cider in the glass was no longer chilled but lukewarm. The false promise of desensitization and loss of coherent thought had me glaring at it with wistful regret.

_Approximately 150 calories per glass and I don't even get drunk._

A crack of thunder boomed outside, inky clouds announcing the upcoming storm. A flash of lightning etched itself across the sky and disappeared a half-second later. Agitated and vexed, I pushed myself away from the table and stood up, walking to Darcy and Eric, who had settled themselves in the living room. I heard the beginnings of a playful debate.

"_Chanel_ has completely gone off the charts." Darcy flourished, her voice reverent and awed, " I loooove their newest fall line. So posh."

I had just noticed how Darcy was dressed a couple of moments ago.

Her mahogany hair was in a calculated, mussed bun. Her hair was textured, voluminous and undeniably designed to evoke jealousy and awe. Darcy looked edgy, modern and sensual. Her pale steel blue eyes were lined with an intense cobalt cat-eye. Her lips were stained in a poppy pink color. As if Darcy's fair looks weren't enough, her body was the main dish. Wrapped around her long neck, Chanel chains and lockets hung and sparkled. She had donned on a gray, cropped, sweater with 5 C˚ stitched in tweed. Her exposed flat stomach was accentuated by the cutty, edge red metallic skirt. The skirt, stopping a couple of inches above the knee, led down to her long shapely legs. On her small feet, chunky, geometric, pink heels gave a sophisticated artistic twist to the outfit, pulling the assemble together. Her heels matched her lips. Darcy was captivating.

I was ordinary and plain.

With resentful indifference, I pinched the yarn of my sweater between my hands; Its soft creamy white color contrasting violently with the inky black of my long hair.

_Oh…how far the Great, Grand, Foster has fallen, so jealous of her own friend…_

I stood up and walked out the living room.

With a yelled goodbye, I gathered my things and walked out without another word. I didn't want to talk to them. Erik and Darcy's confused murmurs swirled in my head as my boots thumped against the wood patio out unto the long, pebbled, driveway.

The sky was a deep indigo and the winter air was silent.

My head was foggy, or I was just in denial, as I walked to the ivy-infested side of Erik's house. With out hesitation, I stuck my hand in the ivy and groped for a wooden handle. Erik had his wine cellar underneath the house. With a heavy groan, the door swung open and I walked inside, the moonlight poured in. I watched as my silhouette stepped in front of me, shifting with jerky movements. Rubbing my arms, I swiveled on my foot in the center of the wine cellar, glancing around the metal shelves. In the far right corner, a glass icebox was hidden in shadow. With a little hoot, I yanked it open and grabbed two bottles of Erik's finest wine. I walked outside, and kicked the door closed. It slammed into place.

With clumsy steps, and a bottle in each hand, I walked towards the back of Erik's house to a pine tree. With a rusty practiced hand, I began to climb, the bottles clinking in my purse. When I finally reached a familiar fork, I sighed. I settled in my hammock, testing my weight against the threadbare cords. I snuggled comfortably and popped a bottle open. With greedy gulps my whirling mind began to simmer into a numb buzz. The edges of my vision began to get blurry and black as I became intoxicated.

"God, this is the first drink I've had in months," I say to the hammock. Suddenly I'm afraid something will stop me from talking and the words being to rush out of my mouth.

"It's been sooo long since I've kissed somebody. I mean honestly…I'm still a virgin. I got close once but… Thor…" my face gets warm but I continue, "He was special. And really hot. And sexy. And hot. But he died, but then he came back again-" I took another deep pull from the bottle, " His psychotic brother tried to take over Asgard. Then like the little bastard he is, he came to earth and tried to enslave it. Then as if to make matters worse, he also took Erik. Brainwashed him!" My arms were raised to emphasize my point, then they fell limply to my lap. "It's been almost three years now. Since Thor. Since Loki." I turned to the tree curiously.

"What could make a person crazy enough to kill thousands of people? Who could love a person like that?" I slouch back into the hammock exhausted, but relieved.

The promise of numbness soon engulfs me and I'm drowning in blackness. It fills my lungs and pounds painfully in my head. As this darkness pulls me under, I surrender to the invasion. The last thing I see is the hammock slowly turning red.


	3. Side Effects

_Song Inspiration: "Flume" by Bon Iver_

* * *

><p><em>"<em>_Jane."_

_A hand brushed softly against my forehead. My skin prickles, too hot, too cold._

_"__Hey, baby girl."_

_Wet drops hit my face in soft splatters. Tears? It's warm._

_"__Momma loves you."- a sob-" Daddy loves you. We love you. Don't forget. Don't forget."_

_I blink my eyes and the fear and pain threaten to sink me under again. Red, blue and white lights flash. A loud, microphone voice pounds inside my head. I can't comprehend what is happening._

_"__We are seeing a severe car crash with a semi-truck and three other cars. Two Lexus and one Toyota. There was an elderly woman, two men and a family. We aren't sure how many deaths-"_

_A yell rose above the sirens and noise._

_"__Hey, there's a kid in here!"_

_A wail pierced the air, and with a shock I realized it was me and I was dying._

…

I woke with a sob in my throat, calling for my mother. As I glanced down, I saw that my white sweater and yellowed hammock were stained with red. I began to scream, tears poring down my cheeks. I was bleeding that could be the only possibility. I was back in the car crash. Fire. Smoke. Burnt skin. Mangled bodies. My hand smacks against an empty glass bottle.

_They're dead…they're dead._

With a screech, I fell off the tree, landing on the ground in a tangle of wheezing limbs. The wine bottles soon followed, landing with dull thumps against the dew-covered grass. The red liquid sloshed. One was empty. I finger my sweater, and lick the juice off my fingers. Red wine.

_Hangoverrrrrrrrr. Ugh. It's not real. I'm not dead._

With an unsteady hand, I leaned against my tree and retched up the food and alcohol from last night. I groaned.

"Jane! Are you there?" I heard Erik call. "JANE!" Darcy yelled, her voice echoing and falling silent in the gloom.

I backed away, farther into the thick fog that clung low to the earth. My fingers sinking into the soft dirt. I grab my purse, slinging it over my shoulder and after a second thought I grab the last bottle of wine. With confusion, shame, anger and jealousy, I stood up and ran into the forest.

…

Running away seemed like a really good idea at the time.

I trudged through the late snow, my boots caked with mud and ice. Every five minutes, I had to tug my beany down to sufficiently cover my head. My purse slapped against my leg with each step, the glass bottles clinking together and the liquid sloshing. The hangover was slowly dispersing but my head was still lightheaded and groggy.

Branches were bare, some trees green with new buds but the forest was silent except for the storm in the distance. Every popping branch made me flinch and shiver. Feeling overly paranoid, I sunk into my mind and thought about the past three years.

…

The first year was the worst.

I was blind with love and a naïve sense of hope. I waited day after day with full confidence that Thor would come and take me away to Asgard. After Christmas, S.H.I.E.L.D. offered me a job, that I refused preferring to stay available for Thor's visit.

My hopes were shattered, 12 months later.

With an insidious subtlety, I alienated myself from society and my family, Erik and Darcy.

New Years and Valentines Day was a parade of used tissues and cartons of icecream.

The second year was dedicated solely to wormholes and astrophysics.

Anything, anyway to bring Thor back to Earth.

I lived in the desert, lived in the night, waiting for my machines to report the spike of energy in the universe.

The third year was a battle against insomnia and anorexia. A battle for acceptance.

Depression and self-hatred swamped me, drowning me in pitiful waves.

_He is never coming back_, a tiny section of my brain whispered traitorously, repeated like a mantra. I soon believed it. I lost faith in the Gods, in the Universe…in love.

With an unexpected intensity, anger surged through my limbs and into my bloodstream, a hatred that poisoned my thoughts pertaining to Thor. _He did this._

A clap of thunder disturbs my thoughts, sending a shiver down my spine. The forest is entirely silent, a fact that now hits me with undeniable clarity. There are no birds chirping, no animals chattering, just a limp wind. I walk faster. I try to calm down, lower my heart rate and think logically.

"Lets start with what we know," I say confidently to myself.

_Lightning, a natural electric discharge of very short duration and high voltage. Thunder, due to the expansion of rapidly heated air. God, a superhuman being that has power over nature or human fortunes._

Thinking doesn't help. As fear takes over, my only thought is to runaway; Get out of the forest, find the road, find my car, and drive( to where, I wouldn't know.) Before long the last bottle of wine is empty, thrown carelessly on the ground.

…

"A God of Thunder ruined my life," I slur to a nearby tree.

The car could only a couple of yards away now. I've been walking forever.

"But…what if I wanted to die? What could he do?," I ask, giggling to the muddy grass. Rain is pouring down, and I can barely see the car, the black paint camouflaging with the road.

_ "_He can do _nothing." _I snarl. I kick at a blob by my feet, shivering as the rain slithers down my spine. With a yelp, I slip and scrape my hands and cheek against a bed of rocks. With shock, I rub a finger against my face. I hiss.

The God of Thunder did this. He sent a damn storm. He made it rain. He left me. He broke my heart.

With as much anger as I could muster-which wasn't very hard with the mud squelching between my breasts- I licked my lips and screamed until my throat was raw. I coughed.

"Stupid Bastard!" I croaked, wiping tears from my eyes.

"Always so…close…to the stars," I whimpered dejectedly. In my soaked muddy jeans, I cried. I fell to my bottom and cried. I grieved the loss of my identity. I whimpered about my recent injuries. And lastly but not least, I weep for Thor. I sat there for several more minutes like that, lying dejectedly on the ground.

With a strange sense of relief, I stood up and wrung out my hair. Of course, it only got wet again. Looking up, I realized I wasn't on the road anymore. My chest slowly began to rise faster and faster. With a laugh, I saw a clearing among the trees where the road must be. With a determined breath, I took a step, wrapping my arms tighter around my body. I trudged forward into the forest, trying to shake off the feeling of being watched.

"Your being ridiculous!" I chastise, trying to force some strength into my wary body.

My boots trudge along the dank mixture of mud, rotten leaves and dirty snow.

My body flinches violently when I hear a branch snap.

A soft whisper murmurs in my head.

_Run._

…

My feet cant hit the ground fast enough.

I skid on mud, slip on wet red and brown leaves and splash through puddles. Branches rake across my skin and I feel alive. My chest heaves, exhaling and inhaling.

I laugh, the adrenaline coursing through my body.

I _feel._

My legs and side burn. I can feel the heat from my blood, my breath fogging in the morning air. The pain is good. My thoughts begin to slow, simpler and easy.

Pain.

Hunger. A deep hunger.

Love and forgiveness.

Regret and shame.

Hope and oblivion of star-crossed lovers. Thor is so distant.

Before I see the sharp, abrupt edge, I continue to run and fall down the steep angle of the hill. My body twists and contorts into strange shapes. I keep flipping. My head hits the earth first and then my legs follow after, sort of like a circle. As I continue to flip and fall, the world from my vision spins, sky-ground-sky-ground. In that little infinity of time, I feel peace. As I continue to fall, my head hits a rock and the world begins to spin faster. A final burst of thought fills my head.

_Who am I?_

* * *

><p><strong><em>In the next Chapter... Jane is not drunk, we finally get Loki's point of view and we find out more about Darcy's abrupt change. Now here's an excerpt.<em>**

_I, Jane Foster, am a virgin._

_And I had, what appeared to be, a sex god and my ex-boyfriend of three days in my living room. _

_Then again, it could be the heavy medicine messing with my head._


End file.
